Needed to Get Naked After I Accidentally Pissed on My Brand New Dungarees Whilst Doing a Standing up Pee for You!
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Returning home from the morning walk I was absolutely fucking desperate for a piss and so dashed straight to the bathroom for you. Where, as you know, it is incredibly dark in there! And so to try and give you a decent view I stood up for the majority of the piss. Now, this is all fine and dandy when the wee is coming out all on its own and the weight of the liquid in my bladder helps push it through my scarred urethra. But as soon as I need to start pushing it out with concentration and purpose, that's when it starts trickling down my leg. Or legs!
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Oh, hello, hello, hello. How are you? Oh my God, I am fucking desperate for a pee.
What shall we do today? What shall we do today? Shall we pee in a bowl?
Oh, God, it's coming down my leg. Oh, sit on the loom. Oh, geez. Oh, my God. Yes, right,
so, I've just been out for an unexpectedly long dog walk. Oh, Jesus Christ.
I'll blow my nose, just in case any of you...
